


You're Safe Now

by Evelynn_1967



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Angst, Happy Ending, Hurt Merlin (Merlin), Hurt/Comfort, I Don't Even Know, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I'm Bad At Tagging, M/M, Mild Smut, Misunderstandings, Mutual Pining, Past Abuse, Protective Gwaine (Merlin), Protective Merlin (Merlin), Scars, injured Gwaine
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-22
Updated: 2020-07-22
Packaged: 2021-03-04 20:55:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25452754
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Evelynn_1967/pseuds/Evelynn_1967
Summary: Accidental magic reveal brings to light other secrets that have long been held. Misunderstandings and injuries, small arguments and make ups. And what story isn't complete without a kidnapping and lies.(I really don't know what this is... The idea popped into my head one day so I wrote it instead of sleeping or finishing other projects. So anyway. Story is better then summary (I hope)... Enjoy!)
Relationships: Gwaine/Merlin (Merlin), Gwen/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 107





	You're Safe Now

Merlin laid curled on his side in his bed, tears filling his eyes, he was waiting for the door to open and have knights flood into his room to arrest him. To drag him down to the dungeons. Lock him up to await trial and sentencing for his magic. He wondered absently what he would be sentenced to, would he burn, or would they hang him or maybe something else? He shook his head pushing the thoughts away. He didn’t know what to do, he knew he should try and run but what was the point? The guards were likely on their way already, so they would just catch him before he got too far. 

Why did I have to mess up so badly? He wondered desperately. There was a soft knock on the door. He didn’t answer, figuring it was Gaius and he couldn’t bring himself to face him right now. The door opened and someone stepped in quietly, Merlin ignored them not wanting to speak or have to explain anything to anyone, he hoped whoever it was would just go away and leave him to be arrested in peace.

“Merlin?” Gwaine asked.

Merlin flinched a little but sat up, he thrust his arms out towards Gwaine to snap the shackles onto him, not bothering to look over at him.

“What are you doing?” Gwaine asked bewildered, looking from Merlin’s hands to his downturned face, which, he saw, was streaked with tears.

“I know why you’re here so just get it over with. No point delaying what we both know has to be done,” Merlin said quietly, his voice hoarse from tears, and from running to his room from out in the forest.

“Oh. I see,” Gwaine said sighing, Merlin closed his eyes tightly fresh tears beginning to fall. Gwaine reached over and gently took Merlin’s hands and guided them to rest beside Merlin, “I’m not here to arrest you Merlin, you really think if Arthur wanted you arrested he would be stupid enough to send me?” He asked gently.

Merlin looked up at him, “you’re… you’re not here to arrest me?”

Gwaine shook his head, “the exact opposite really,” he hooked his foot around the leg of the chair and tugged it over sitting down facing Merlin, their knees brushed together slightly, “I’m here to thank you, you saved our lives by doing something you clearly thought would get you arrested and killed. And I wanted to make sure you made it somewhere safe since you bolted the second the coast was clear. Let me just say you’re way faster then you look.” 

Merlin pretended not to notice their knees touching even though he was finding it very distracting. “I don’t know what to do, Gwaine, according to the laws Arthur has to have me arrested and killed, I used magic right in front of all of you, there’s no way to deny it. And… and I saw Arthur’s face when I checked that no one was hurt. He was so angry and I really thought he might kill me right then and there,” Merlin said quietly.

“Well, I won’t deny that he was pissed, ‘cause he definitely was but the rest of us got him calmed down. Lancelot of course already knew and explained to the princess that you’ve always had magic so it wasn’t something that you decided to pick up since being here but didn’t explain a ton since it’s your story to tell. Then I told Arthur that if he harmed you that he would not only be losing you, his best friend and manservant but also making an enemy of me, Lancelot immediately chimed in saying the same, then Elyan, everyone said the same even Leon. You’re our friend Merlin and apparently also our protector we aren’t going to let anyone, including Arthur hurt you for something like this. I’m sorry we found out this way it would have been better had you had the chance to just talk to us, but anyway thank you Merlin, for saving us… this time and any other time that you have.”

“I- thank you for risking that for me… especially when it would’ve been very easy for you to be just as angry as Arthur since I kept it form you as well. This… this isn’t going to affect one friendship at all is it?”

“No, Merlin, this isn’t going to affect how I feel about you at all I promise, besides I always figured there was something going on with you, that you weren’t telling us.” Gwaine said grinning at him.

Merlin smiled softly, “good I’m glad I really enjoy spending time with you so I would hate for this to have jeopardized anything.” Merlin knew there was more he wanted to say or ask but was still too overwhelmed by the events of earlier and still found it strangely distracting having Gwaine this close to him but wasn’t sure why, when he knew it didn’t mean anything. Not to the other man anyway. 

Gwaine watched him quietly for a moment before leaning across the small gap between them and brushed his lips gently against Merlin’s, something he had wanted to so since they met that day in the tavern.

Merlin made a small noise and jerked backwards out of shock, “Gwaine? What was that?” he asked his blue eyes, that always drove Gwaine wild, were wide with surprise, and confusion.

Gwaine’s eyes went wide as well, but for a completely different reason, “I am so sorry, Merlin that was forward of me. I took liberties and misinterpreted signals. I-I’ll-I’m gonna go,” Gwaine muttered standing up so fast that he nearly up ended the chair, he practically threw himself out the door shutting it firmly behind himself before Merlin had any chance to process what had just happened between them.

Merlin was still sitting, rather shell shocked on his bed when the door opened again and Gaius was standing there, “Ah Merlin. There you are, the King would like to see you in his chambers.”

Merlin swallowed hard but nodded, “ok. Thank you Gaius,” he said standing, way too much having happened in such a short amount of time, he could feel a headache beginning to from.

He walked to Arthur’s chambers, he went to walk in but hesitated at the door and decided he should knock this time.

“Enter.”

Merlin walked in slowly, looking nervous, “I was told you wanted to see me, Sire,” he said with far more respect then he normally would have.

Arthur looked up at him, his expression unreadable, even for Merlin who could unusually read him with ease, “Merlin, come in and close the door.”

Merlin did as he was told, closing the door behind himself, making him feel suddenly trapped and panicked but he forced the feeling down so Arthur wouldn’t see. 

Arthur sighed impatiently, “do I need to spell everything out for you Merlin? Come over here so we can actually talk without me practically yelling across the room to you.”

Merlin hesitated but walked closer to Arthur’s desk and looked at him, “here I was thinking you liked yelling at me,” he said quietly attempting to lighten the tension he was feeling with some of his typically humour, but it sounded weak and scared even to his own ears.

Arthur just looked at him and sighed all the things he originally wanted to say to Merlin flew out of his mind the second his saw the look in the young man’s eyes, “why do you think I’ve called you in here?” Arthur asked calmly.

“To talk about what happened earlier in the forest and to remind me of what has to happen now. But I know the Law and know what it is you have to do, Ar- Sire, I understand what is expected of you, what you have to do,” he said looking down.

“You’re right there is the law to consider… but no, none of that is why I wanted you here. I wanted to make sure you had made it back, and that you hadn’t been injured… I expect you to tell me more about your magic and everything at another time but until then none of this will be spoken of. I can’t punish you for saving mine and my knights’ lives. Because we definitely would not have survived the ambush today if it hadn’t been for your actions. So what I am trying to say is, thank you Merlin.”

Merlin stared at Arthur for a moment, his mouth slightly parted, “I’m not sure I can handle anymore surprises today,” he muttered to himself, Arthur heard him and looked confused but didn’t ask, “thank you, for… well I suppose thank you for not having me arrested and killed.” He was beginning to feel less trapped in the room now, his panic ebbing away slowly.

Arthur smiled sadly, “I wish you would’ve come to me about this before I found out in this manner but now it’s out and I know, so you don’t have to hide form me or the knights anymore, of course you’ll still have to be careful around other people but not us, not your friends,” he said kindly.

Merlin’s eyes filled with tears and he nodded, hardly able to believe his ears that he wouldn’t have to hide who he was from his friends any longer. Arthur stood from his chair and walked around the desk to stand in front of Merlin. Merlin met Arthur’s gaze, who gently pulled him into a hug, Merlin broke down and let himself cry, letting out all his overwhelming emotions, of the lingering fear from before, the confusion from his interaction with Gwaine, the joy of not having to lie to those closest to him anymore, and the exhaustion that was weighing him down from using as much magic as he had that morning. Arthur just held onto the trembling sorcerer letting him take as much time as he needed.

Merlin finally got himself back under control and pulled away from Arthur slowly.

“Are you alright now?” Arthur asked gently, his hands still resting on Merlin’s shoulders.

Merlin nodded wiping at his eyes and face.

“Ok, do you need anything. Anything at all?” Arthur asked, putting lots of emphasis on the anything.

Merlin frowned a little and shook his head, “no I’m ok. That would just complicate things, just like last time, although it would be worse now. I can’t ask you for that, not when I know you’re in love with Gwen, and she loves you. Even if you aren’t married yet you’re headed that way. That would just cause problems, problems that we don’t need to deal with. It’s best we don’t go there again,” Merlin said gently, reaching up to cup Arthur’s cheek gently before pulling away and stepping out of Arthur’s arms, “thank you for the offer but I should go unless you need my assistance with anything.”

“No I think I can manage on my own for this evening. Go get some rest, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Yes, Sire, thank you,” Merlin said giving Arthur a small smile and left. He started heading for his chambers but didn’t feel up to explaining everything that had happened that day so he headed off for a walk to think over everything that happened earlier with Gwaine.

He walked until it was late enough that if he didn’t head back Gaius would begin to wonder where he was. He walked in quietly in case Gaius had already gone to bed. He hadn’t, he was sitting at the table reading one of the books from his expansive collection, he looked up when Merlin closed the door, “There you are, I was beginning to worry.”

“Sorry. I was walking,” Merlin said quietly.

“So, are you going to tell me what happened today? Arthur told the court that you were ambushed on the hunt but said nothing more then the bandits were dead and would be no more of a threat but it sounded like there was more to it then that since none of the a Knights had a mark on them, and although they’re great fighters, with the numbers Arthur said, it’s simply not possible for everyone to have escaped unharmed.”

Merlin sighed and sat down, “we were near a steep cliff stalking a deer through the trees, but apparently we were also being followed until the rock face was at our backs and the bandits closed in. You were right there was no way we were all making out of there, there was far too many of them. I could stand the thought of any of the Knights dying so I did the only thing I could. I used my powers and flung them all back. I didn’t realize I had killed them and honestly I don’t really care. They were going to kill all of us except for Arthur who they were going to use for information on how to breach Camelot. I heard one of them talking just before they attacked but not soon enough to warn Arthur and the others. So I handled it. Then I turned and saw the look on Arthur’s face, he had his sword drawn and looked so angry. I thought he was going to kill me where I stood so, I bolted I couldn’t let him do that. I came back here originally to get my things to leave but I didn’t know where to go and could barely breathe. Eventually Gwaine-“ Merlin train of thought caught briefly on the kiss that Gwaine had given him but he pushed past that, “-Gwaine came and found me and told me things were fine and that Arthur wasn’t going to kill me. Then Arthur called me to his chambers, as you know, and said that he simply isn’t going to mention that this happened that way he doesn’t have to arrest me. Since he couldn’t sentence me to death when I had just save him and the Knights. Then I left and went for a walk.” Merlin explained but left out anything that Gaius really didn’t need to know about.

Gaius looked a little alarmed but nodded, “and the rest of the knights? Obviously Lancelot is ok with it since he already knew, and since Gwaine was here he must not have had a problem with it either… but the others?”

“Gwaine said they were completely fine with it. Perhaps a little shocked but they all stood up for me and told Arthur that if he tried to sentence me that he would also lose all of them because they would not continue serving him if he harmed me. And Lancelot explained a little. Mostly that it wasn’t as if I had chosen to have magic and that I had always just tried to protect Arthur and Camelot.”

Gaius nodded and relaxed a little, “well, you must be relieved that your secret is known by them now.”

“I am. Very glad. I still have to be careful obviously since if anyone else found out, Arthur’s hand would be forced.”

Gaius nodded, “good. I’m glad you’re still being careful. Now I think you should be off to bed. You look exhausted.”

Merlin smiled a little and nodded, he saiid his goodnights to Gaius then headed up the small set of steps into his room. He collapsed on the bed and fell asleep his mind still spinning from the events of the day, he decided to speak to Gwaine the next day to find out what that kiss had meant.

~~~

All of Merlin’s attempts to speak to Gwaine had failed as the Knight was very skilled at avoiding Merlin completely or if it wasn’t possible to, he made sure not to be alone with him. 

It was a sunny day, sometime a week later and the Knights were out on the training field sparing, while Merlin stood on the sidelines to assist if they need something, the only one missing was Arthur, Gwaine noted while avoiding eye contact with Merlin as usual. He went and partnered with Percival, they began their spar their blades flashed and gleamed in the midmorning sun. Although only part of his attention was on the fight, another part of his mind was busy trying to keep track of what Merlin was doing, and the rest was kicking the second part, reminding it that it wasn’t his business to know what Merlin was doing. 

He had just managed to get his mind into the game enough to start beating Percy when he saw out of the corner of his eye he saw Arthur walking over to Merlin, and hand him a few papers. Merlin frowned a little looking at Arthur questioningly but started reading the papers a smile began spreading across his face. He flipped to the second page and his hands were trembling, Gwaine could see over Percy’s shoulder still managing to keep up blocking the blows right until Merlin finished reading the paper, smiling bright enough to blind, and threw his arms around Arthur tightly. Arthur was caught off guard but hugged back after a second, Merlin pulled back quickly like he remembered they were in public. Merlin happened to glance across the field as Percy slipped on a muddy spot as he lunged towards Gwaine, who since he was distracted didn’t even have a chance to block the incoming blow that sliced open his ribs.

Blood began to well from the injury, Gwaine’s eyes went wide as he clamped a hand to it trying to stop the bleeding, but to no avail, the last thing he saw before he lost consciousness was Merlin running towards him. 

~~~

Gwaine woke up his ribs aching, he groaned trying to remember what happened, then it all came rushing back to him. He sighed wondering distantly how long he had been unconscious for and if it was reasonable to just go back to sleep for a little while longer. 

“Gwaine?” A quiet voice asked from beside him. Gwaine opened his eyes reluctantly, the sunlight stabbing his eyes until they finally adjusted and he looked over to see Merlin sitting in a chair next to the bed looking concerned but hopeful and realized with a strange jolt that he was in Merlin’s room not in the main area.

“Merlin….” Gwaine said quietly, his voice hoarse. Merlin heard this and got up quickly and got a cup of water and held it out to him. Gwaine took it slowly and drank some of it, “Thanks. um… how long was I unconscious for?”

“Two days,” Merlin said looking at him sadly, “I… I’ll go get Gaius. You should drink some more water in the mean time,” Merlin said quietly falling back on his training that Gaius has been giving him. Gwaine nodded slightly, wanting to argue for Merlin to stay with him but his side ached horribly, making him want some of Gaius’ pain potion. Merlin stood and looked like there was something more he wanted to say bit decided against it and walked out after getting him some more water.

Gaius came in a few moments later, “glad to see you’re awake, Gwaine, you had us all worried, especially Merlin, he barely left your side except when he absolutely had to. I assume you need a pain potion?” He asked.

Gwaine nodded, “Merlin would sit with me?” He asked, watching Gaius work.

“Yes he did. He would only leave to deal with the things happening in the court right now, the rest of the time he was sitting with you. I couldn’t even convince him to sleep anywhere but in that chair. He saved your life actually, had he not been on the field you likely would’ve bled out before making it to me.”

Gwaine thought back trying to remember Merlin doing something but his memory stopped at Merlin starting to run to him. Gaius handed him a cup and Gwaine drank it obediently and felt his pain begin to ebb immediately, “thank you. What’s happening in court that Merlin is involved?” He asked concerned that perhaps someone had found out about Merlin’s magic but Gaius didn’t seem nearly concerned enough for it to be that.

“Of course. It’s nothing to worry about. I think Merlin should be the one to tell you what’s going on. It’s his news to tell really. Now you should get some more rest. That was quite the injury.”

Gwaine nodded, his heart sinking thinking a different worse possibility for what the news could possibly be, he closed his eyes for what he thought was only a few moments but it was dark when he opened them again. From how dark it was he figured it was probably around midnight. The door opened and Merlin slipped in and got something to drink then walked over to sit by Gwaine’s bed but stopped short when he realized Gwaine was awake again.

“Gwaine… how are you feeling?” He asked gently approaching but not sitting like he was nervous about something.

“I’m fine. Still a little sore.” He said quietly sitting up slowly.

Merlin watched him quietly for a moment, “Gwaine…” Merlin hesitated, Gwaine’s heart sunk thinking Merlin was going to try and ease him into whatever news he had, “why did you run out and the avoid me after you kissed me?” He asked looking down.

Gwaine, caught off guard by the question, took a moment to answer, “Because I know you and Arthur have something going on, and you’re the one that practically jumped away,” he said bitterly.

“Oh, uh… no. We used to have something going but it was too complicated so we stopped it before it went too far.”

Gwaine frowned a little, looking confused, “Gaius said that you’ve had a lot to deal with in the court lately, and when I asked why he said it was your news to tell not his… I thought… well I saw how happy you were on the training field the other day… I just assumed that something more had happened between the two of you,” Gwaine said quietly.

Merlin looked at him sadly, Gwaine who was never quiet or upset, looking lost and sad now thinking that Merlin was with Arthur. “I was really happy that day, well until you got yourself stabbed, and I suppose it was because of Arthur but not why you’re thinking. He legalized magic and promoted me to being the court sorcerer like they used to have before Uther banned magic. That’s what those papers were that he had handed me. He had just gotten out of a counsel session where he went over everything and wrote up the new laws.” A small smile playing on his mouth.

“That’s amazing Merlin, I’m happy for you. You’re getting everything you wanted,” Gwaine said smiling at him, trying to hide the fact he thought that he wasn’t going to get what he desperately wanted.

Merlin looked at him, then turned a way a little his profile illuminated by the moonlight streaming in through the window, he had his hands clasped behind his back. Gwaine noticed that he held himself differently now, more sure of himself, he looked a little older but fair more relaxed, less nervous energy cracking around him now. He was staring off a little ways like he was thinking but Gwaine couldn’t read his face which was unusual since normal he could tell what Merlin was thinking and feeling but he had nothing right now.

“I wouldn’t say that I have everything I want… not yet anyway….” Merlin said quietly like he had been debating what to say.

“Oh? And what are you missing? You seem to have everything you could hope for…” Gwaine said still trying to read Merlin’s expression.

“You know after Arthur called things off between us, well I whole heartedly agreed but he was ultimately the one who said it couldn’t continue, I was a bit of a mess. Not that I ever let anyone see but I was a mess especially when things started happening between Arthur and Gwen. I, of course, am happy for them, they love each other a lot but it still hurt a lot that he had someone new and I was alone. Again. But then we met a drunken idiot at a tavern, who decided to jump into a fight and saved our asses even though he no reason to other then he liked a good fight and thought it looked like we needed a hand. And I thought that perhaps there was someone else out there that could make me happy. But I saw him flirting with countless other people and never me so I figured, oh well but at least I know now that I can find someone to make me happy. But I still couldn’t get this guy out of my mind. And then he got banished and I desperately wanted to leave with him but I couldn’t because no matter how badly my heart told me to follow him anywhere he went, I knew I had a duty to stay here and fight for my future so I watched him ride away and figured I wasn’t likely to see him again. Finally one day I find out that he gets to come back and find that I am both dreading his return and thrilled. I was so happy that he would be coming back because it meant that I got to be around him again but I was dreading that I would have to one day watch him fall in love with someone else and screw anyone and everyone that he wanted to. To me it just drove home the point that he didn’t want me. He wanted most anyone except for me,” he said this all quietly enough that even in the near silent room Gwaine had to strain to hear him. 

Merlin turned around now and looked directly at him, “and then that same guy forgave me for lying to him and made sure that I wasn’t hurt and was willing to give up everything to protect me. Then suddenly he was kissing me. I was so shocked that I jumped because I briefly thought my mind had wandered into a daydream right until I saw the look on you face and before I even had the chance to process that on top of everything else that had happened that day, he ran out the door. He proceeded to avoid me at every turn for a week, leaving me to fill in the blanks with all kinds of thoughts. The one that seemed the most likely being that he had just been meaning to comfort me and that it meant nothing to him. And that he regretted his actions because he would never look at me that way. Which made me also regret that the kiss ever happened because even though it was something I had been hoping for, for a very long time if it meant that he wouldn’t be around me at all anymore… I didn’t want it. I would rather have had nothing ever happen between us and remained friends so I could around him. Then have one small thing happen and lose him completely,” he said quietly staring at Gwaine, looking lost and sad, his face no longer unreadable.

“I… Merlin I had no idea you felt that way. I never flirted with you or anything like that because it would've hurt too much if you had rejected it or just laughed it off thinking I was just messing around like I do with all the others. I didn’t want you think it was the same as how I was with other people because it’s not. It’s different with you. I’ll… I am willing to take whatever it is you offer Merlin. But I would prefer this not to be some one-off thing… If this is going on to be anything anyway….”

“I wouldn’t want this to be a one-off thing either. Do… do you want to give… give us a try?” Merlin asked hesitantly.

Gwaine grinned, “I’ve wanted that for a very long time. So yes I would like to give it a go and find out if things will actually work out.”

Merlin looked at him quietly for a moment then grinned back. He leaned down and kissed Gwaine soundly on the mouth. Gwaine’s hands came up and cupped Merlin’s face gently deepening the kiss. Merlin ran his fingers through Gwaine’s hair gently, as he was tugged down gently so he was sitting on the edge of the bed, neither of them breaking the kiss. He trailed his hands down Gwaine’s bare shoulders and chest, exploring the muscles and could feel the slight shiver that followed in the wake of his fingers. He paused and broke the kiss panting a little when his fingers brushed the rough fabric of the bandages binding the wound on Gwaine’s side. 

Gwaine made an impatient sound, slipping his hand under the edge of Merlin’s shirt tugging at it like he was going to try and take it off, while trying to recapture his mouth as well.

Chuckling a little Merlin gently pushed Gwaine’s hand down, “not tonight Gwaine. Not until you’re healed. We don’t need you ripping out the stitches,” he said gently moving to stand. 

“Ok… ok. Not that tonight but will you lay with me? I’ll behave myself I promise,” he said with a devilish grin that told a different story, in the typical Gwaine fashion. 

Merlin laughed softly running his fingers lightly across his face tracing the angle of his jaw, the shape of his lips, “I’m not sure I believe that you’ll behave yourself if I stay, and you need rest still. I’m not totally sure I can behave myself if I stay,” he said tracking the movement of his fingers with his eyes, as if trying to memorize every line of him.

He leaned into the touches slightly, while watching Merlin’s expression, “I… if you don’t want to stay that’s ok. I just… I’d rather not wake up alone. Or I may think this was all some fever dream or something. I promise I will actually behave myself if you stay,” he said quietly.

Merlin softened and nodded, “ok. I’ll stay,” he said gently. “Well, shove over a little then and lay down.”

Gwaine grinned again, “bossy aren’t you? That should be fun,” he said with a wink but moved over a little to make some room for Merlin. Or at least as much as he could on the narrow bed and laid down.

Merlin huffed a small laugh at his comment and laid beside him resting his head on Gwaine’s shoulder and traced gentle patterns on his stomach, “now… now I have everything I want,” Merlin said softly. Gwaine smiled placing a gentle kiss to the top of Merlin’s head.

True to his word Gwaine behaved himself all night quite content to have Merlin curled against his one side tucked tightly under his arm. They both slept better that night then they had any other time in their lives. 

~~~

Gwaine woke the next morning vaguely confused and still muddled from sleep, so it took him a moment to realize that he had someone curled against him still asleep. It took him another few moments to remember who it was and the conversation from the night before and smiled softly. He gently ran his fingers through Merlin’s dark curls. Merlin mumbled in his sleep and snuggled closer to Gwaine, making him grin. He continued to play with Merlin’s hair gently while he slept, marvelling at the fact he was really holding him. Merlin finally opened his eyes and looked up at Gwaine and smiled sleepily, “good morning sleeping beauty, I was starting to think I would need to kiss you awake,” Gwaine said teasingly.

Merlin smiled, “I wouldn’t be complaining,” he said softly pushing himself up so he was looking down at Gwaine and kissed him gently, “I like being able to do that now,” he said smiling, looking happier then Gwaine had ever seen him, and he liked being the one to make it happen. Merlin laid back down holding onto him tightly, being careful of Gwaine’s injury. They laid there in happy, comfortable silence until Merlin broke it with a disappointed sigh, “You know I really hate having responsibilities,” he muttered.

“Why’s that?” Gwaine asked, partly distracted by playing with Merlin’s hair again. 

“Because it means I have go now to tend to my new job. Since I don’t think it would make a very good impression blowing off my duties on my third day,” he said disappointedly.

“I suppose you’re probably right,” Gwaine said shifting a little allowing Merlin to untangle himself from Gwaine and stand. 

Merlin stretched and went over to his cabinet and grabbed a clean shirt figuring his pants were fine to wear again. He hesitated only for a moment before taking off his shirt, he could feel Gwaine tracking all his movements and raking his eyes over his now exposed torso, then his back when Merlin turned to pick up the clean shirt. He heard Gwaine’s breath catch when he took in the many scars that littered his body. Some he could tell were far older then his time in Camelot.

Merlin tugged his clean shirt on and looked at Gwaine again and saw the odd look on his face, “what- oh. All the scars?” He asked.

Gwaine nodded looking at him sadly.

“Did you really think that protecting Camelot and it’s future came without a price?” He asked smiling sadly, his eyes looked haunted and much older then they had a moment before but just as fast that look was gone again.

“Those… those weren’t all from being here though. Some are far too old for that….” Gwaine pointed out, saddened that his sweet, gentle Merlin had clearly suffered greatly. 

“I suppose you’re correct on that. If they’re something you would really like to know about I can tell you about them later. Well… the ones that I remember anyway.”

Gwaine nodded, “I would like to know,” he said softly.

“Ok, later. When I get back, I’ll tell you about them,” he said smiling a little.

“One more thing before you go… well two but first thing… I was wondering, are you able to heal my side for me?” He asked hesitantly.

Merlin considered it, “well… technically speaking, yes. But I’m not the best at healing magic. And it’s complicated because if I do it wrong you could wind up with permanent pain there. If you would really like me to, we can ask Gaius what he thinks of it. Because the success is also based on the state of the injury and everything.” He said gently. Gwaine nodded in understanding, “and the second thing?” Merlin asked.

“Can I have another kiss before you go?” Gwaine asked grinning at Merlin. He laughed and nodded walking over to the bed again, kissing him gently.

“I’ll be back as soon as I can be,” he said softly as he pulled away from the kiss.

Gwaine smiled at him, “I’ll be anxiously awaiting your arrival,” he said, his tone teasing but it was only actually half teasing since it was founded on truth.

Merlin laughed softly feeling lighter then he had in ages walked out to face the day. While Gwaine laid down again grinning like an idiot at the ceiling.

~~~

Several hours later Merlin walked back into the room and smiled a little at Gwaine, “how are you feeling?” He asked gently.

“Bored. I don’t like laying around doing nothing,” Gwaine said shifting restlessly on the bed, “did you have a chance to talk to Gaius?” He asked hopefully.

Merlin shook his head, “No he had a lot of appointments today, I figured I’d ask when he got back.”

Gwaine groaned but nodded, “fiiiine,” he said drawing out the word to let Merlin know he wasn’t happy about this. 

Merlin chuckled, “jeez didn’t realize that it was such a hardship for you to be suck in my room with me,” he said teasingly.

Gwaine smiled at him, “hmm that’s not the part that bothers me. It’s the time you’re not here that bother me.”

Merlin walked over and sat on the bed next to him, “well I’m back now and don’t have anywhere else to go.” 

Gwaine smiled and cupped Merlin's face gently with one hand, the other slipped around the back of Merlin’s neck and tugged him closer until they were kissing softly, then pulled away and rested their foreheads together, “I’ll never get used to be able to do that,” Gwaine said a little breathlessly.

Merlin smiled softly, “Me either.”

Leaning back he looked at Merlin for a moment, “since… since we have to wait for Gaius to come back and we don’t know how long that may be, if you’re up for it, I’d still like to know about your scars,” he said slowly.

Merlin looked at him but nodded a little, “I can do that,” he said shifting a little, he pulled his shirt off as well as his neckerchief, he briefly tensed when Gwaine ran his fingers across his back, but relaxed into the feeling a moment later. He took a deep breath and told Gwaine of all the battles, ambushes, raids, attacks, kidnappings, beats, tortures, and magical creatures that he had faced in his time in Camelot and trying to protect it, that had left his body covered in so many scars. 

Gwaine stayed quiet through most of the stories, other then making small noises every once and awhile when there was a particularly sad story or horrible, he listened to every word, tracing the shape of each scar gently as Merlin spoke, his voice cracked when he told Gwaine of the fight in Ealdor when he lost Will, his best friend. He cried when he told Gwaine the stories of more recent times, of battles Merlin had fought that no one knew of, like when he had to put an end to Morgana for the sake of the kingdom and of Arthur. Despite everything he still hated that he hadn’t been able to save her. Gwaine rubbed Merlin’s back soothingly and rested his other hand on his shoulder comfortingly letting him take the time to cry and let things out. 

Eventually Merlin finished telling Gwaine about many of the scars and fell silent staring at the bed waiting to hear what Gwaine had to say about the things he had been told. “You’ve been through so much. I had no idea. The other scars… the older ones, if you’re not up to it today you don’t have to tell me about them, but I know not all of these are from your time living here….”

Merlin took a deep breath and looked at him, “there were people in my village who were never happy that I had magic. They thought very much like Uther did but were never brave enough to say anything since the majority of people were fine with it. I mean, the other children never liked me much and would make fun of me and beat me up when the adults weren’t around, Will was my only friend growing up, not that it really bothered me since he was a very loyal friend so that was good enough for me. So, I’m sure I still have a few lingering scars from those beatings. But there’s a scar right here-“ he turned to face Gwaine completely tipped his head back a little to show a thin pale scar across the base of the throat, Gwaine sucked in a breath seeing it. He hesitantly ran the pad of his thumb along it, while Merlin continued “-that’s from a year when we were getting horrible droughts, I was 10 at the time, and had only gotten stronger with my powers as I grew. Some of the people in the village were convinced that the drought was because the gods were angry that something as unnatural as me was allowed to live, so they thought that if they killed me, spilled my blood on the earth, that the rain would return. So I was headed back to my house one evening from Will’s house and they grabbed me from behind, they covered my mouth and dragged me off into the woods. My mother had instilled in me right from the get go that I wasn’t supposed to use my powers to hurt people, I didn’t realize that I could if it was to protect myself, so other then struggling I didn’t do anything to get away from them. One of them pulled a knife and pressed it to my throat, I remember him telling me that it was for the best that he killed me, that it wasn’t murder since he was getting rid of a monster. An abomination, that by killing me he was going to save the village from starvation. He would have done it too but someone else from the village saw him and his friends dragging me away and got a couple other people and followed us. But that cut is partly why I wear the neckerchiefs all the time, other then the fact I like them.”

Gwaine looked positively murderous, “what happened to those men?” He asked quietly.

“The people who followed caught them just before they could finish and dragged them back to town. Where a meeting was called and everyone was told what they tried to do, and they were kicked out but first, in that kingdom attempted murders are branded on the wrist so it makes it nearly impossible for them to find anywhere new to live. It would especially hard for them since there’s a specific one for people who try to kill children. Their families were allowed to stay in Ealdor since they hadn’t done anything to warrant punishment. But the children of the men hated me more then ever. And they tried to finish what their fathers had started whenever they had the chance. They shoved me into the river once when it was flooded in the spring and I almost drowned because I hit my head on a rock when they pushed me. So I have a scar just in my hairline form that, and I have another scar on my ribs where one of them stabbed me, not that I told anyone about those things, I just dealt with it on my own. Eventually I moved here and despite living here where the King, who’s son I worked for, would kill me if he found out what I was, I felt safer here then I ever did in Ealdor.” He said quietly, looking at Gwaine sadly.

Gwaine looked at Merlin quietly for a moment pressing a gentle kiss to Merlin’s shoulder, “You’re absolutely amazing Merlin, you do know that don’t you? You’ve been through things that would broken even the most hardened warriors and yet here you are still standing, still fighting for your cause, and despite the betrayals, and harm caused to you by everyone, you’re still kind and caring. You’re still a good person despite all the things that could’ve turn you could and hard to the world. You’re absolutely amazing,” he said softly.

Merlin’s eyes filled with tears and looked at Gwaine, “you really believe that?” He asked quietly.

“Yes, I do believe everything I said Merlin.” He wiped away Merlin’s tears gently and kissed him softly.

Merlin smiled, relaxing into the kiss then pulled away glancing at the door like something had gotten his attention. He put his shirt and neckerchief back on, gave Gwaine another quick kiss before moving to sit on the chair, just as the door opened and Gaius walked in, “ah good, you’re awake again Gwaine,” he said setting several vials down to get things ready to administer to him.

“Gaius I had been wondering if it was a possibility for Merlin to simply heal me.”

Gaius paused and looked at him then to Merlin, “well… I suppose it would make sense for him learn but it’s tricky stuff are you sure you want him to try. There’s a lot that could go wrong,” Gaius warned.

“i’m sure. I trust him and I’m sick of being stuck in bed.”

“Alright well, I’ll double check that there is no signs of an infection starting so it doesn’t get healed into you if there is. Then Merlin can give it a try if he feels up to it,” Gaius said, looking at Merlin for confirmation if he was feeling up to attempting it, Merlin nodded a little. Gaius removed the badges and checked the wound, cleaned it once more then looked at Merlin, “Go ahead when you’re ready.”

Merlin took a deep breath focusing his energy on Gwaine, he gently placed his hand over the injury, he murmured some words and his eyes flashed golden. Heat flashed through the wound and when Merlin pulled away and Gwaine looked down at it, it was nothing more then an angry red mark on his skin. Making it look like it had happened weeks ago not mere days.

Gaius smiled a little, “well done Merlin, Gwaine you still need to take it easy. No training yet and I suggest you still drink the pain potion but beyond that you should be good. So two more days of no training so I can keep an eye on it that it finishes healing properly then you can go back to your usual schedule.”

Gwaine nodded and drank the offered vial and gave it back to Gaius, who smiled at them and left again since his patient was tended to.

“thank you Merlin. It feels much better now,” Gwaine said turning to look at him.

“Good I’m glad. I was nervous about trying that,” he said and moved to sit on the bed again, “may I?” He asked gesturing to his side, “i want to see if it healed the way it should have….”

“Of course.” He moved a little so Merlin had easy access to his side, Merlin gently pressed and checked the injury and the area around it until he had assured himself completely that Gwaine was actually healed, “satisfied?” Gwaine asked smiling indulgently when Merlin finally leaned back and looked up at Gwaine.

Merlin nodded, “I’m satisfied that I did it properly for right now anyway. We’ll have to wait and see how well it holds up any really movement….” Merlin said biting his lip still worrying that he may have botched it in someway.

“Is that an invitation to test it out?” Gwaine asked suggestively.

Merlin blushed, getting flustered when Gwaine leaned in and gently pushed Merlin back onto the bed, hovering over him grinning, “Tell me if you don’t want this,” he said softly and leaned down to capture Merlin’s mouth with his, running one hand down Merlin’s side until he found the edge of the shirt. Merlin had a moment’s hesitation but kissed Gwaine back melting into it, and made a disappointed sound when Gwaine pulled away and looked down at him, “I mean it Merlin, if you don’t want to continue we don’t have to,” Gwaine said firmly having noticed the hesitation.

“Oh I most definitely want this, I just don’t want to be walked in on so I locked and sound barrier-ed the room with magic.”

Gwaine smiled, “that’s probably a good plan,” he said, kissing Merlin again, managing to have his hand on Merlin’s side be the only other place, other then their mouths, that their bodies were touching. Merlin grew impatient with this and wrapped his arms around Gwaine’s waist pulling him closer until their bodies lay flush with each other, lining up in every way. They were panting a little into the now heated kiss, that was quickly becoming a battle of tongue and teeth and lips. Gwaine expertly removed Merlin’s neckerchief, and then with some help from Merlin, his shirt followed soon after. Gwaine explored Merlin’s exposed skin with his mouth, biting and suck small marks onto his skin, drawing small gasps and moans from Merlin, who dragged his hands down Gwaine’s back knowing he probably left marks with his nails but neither of them minded. 

They took it slowly, learning each line of each other’s bodies, this wasn’t their usual fast, blur of mouths and skin of a drunken one night stand with some random person from the tavern. This was gentle, getting to know one another. By the time their pants joined Merlin’s shirt on the floor they were both hard and needy. Gwaine traced his hand down to Merlin thigh but paused, “are you su-“

“Yes Gwaine. I’m sure. I want you. I need you,” Merlin panted. Gwaine nodded and spit on his fingers and slowly press one finger inside Merlin’s hole, then slowly another as Merlin relaxed into it, stretching him gently, drawing needy whimpers and moans from him, “I’m ready, please. Gwaine. I need you.” Merlin whimpered. Gwaine complied and shifted so his hard cock was nudging slightly at Merlin’s hole, before gently pushing inside him, giving Merlin lots of time to adjust to him. 

Gwaine moaned against Merlin’s shoulder, “feels so good,” he whispered, slowly beginning to move his hips, pulling more needy moans from the man under him. He thrust into Merlin gently as they learned each other’s rhythms taking their time like they had all the time in the world. The gentle pleasure built up for both of them, until Gwaine reached between them and gripped Merlin and moved his hand in time to his thrusts, Merlin arching his back whimpering, Gwaine moaned thrusting faster and Merlin came hard Gwaine following not far behind. 

Gwaine, panting, pulled out and laid next to Merlin pulling him close not caring that they were both sticky and sweaty and pressed a kiss to Merlin’s temple. Merlin was panting a little and smiled at Gwaine, his eyes flashed golden, both of them suddenly clean as was the bed. 

“Now that is definitely useful,” Gwaine said chuckling.  
Merlin laughed gently smacking Gwaine’s chest, “right because me being able to save your life isn’t useful,” he said grinning, but that faded after a moment, “There’s something we should discuss, I meant to talk to you about it earlier before something like this happened but got distracted and then this but it still needs to be discussed,” he said fidgeting a little.

He looked concerned but nodded, “ok? What do you want to talk about?” He asked gently propping himself up on and elbow looking at Merlin.

“I don’t want you to take this wrong but I think we need to keep our, well, whatever this is turning into quiet for a little while. Like if someone figures it out that’s fine. Whatever but I don’t want the pressure of people knowing when this is still fresh and new and we don’t really know what any of it means. Like I don’t want to hide it but just keep it toned down in front of other people until we know a little better where this is actually going. Is that ok with you?” Merlin asked nervously.

“Hmm embarrassing by me already and I didn’t even get the chance to do something embarrassing in public yet,” Gwaine said smiling, “in all seriousness though, yes it’s ok with me. It makes sense for us to know before trying to tell other people something we don’t know ourselves.”

Merlin looked relieved and laughed. He laid his head on Gwaine’s chest, happier then he thought he could ever feel. Gwaine held him tighter content and happy right where he was.

~~~

They crept through the underbrush in the forest on a hunt, Merlin with the knights still, as extra protection now, instead of as a servant. He cast a net of magical awareness out checking for any threats but found none.

A twig snapped to their right and they all looked and Merlin tried checking again but found nothing, “I don’t sense anything,” he said quietly in response to the others’ questioning looks. 

“You wouldn’t, Emrys,” a dreadfully familiar voice said from behind them. They turned and was faced with a smirking Morgause. The knights were tossed backwards and pinned wherever they landed, leaving Merlin standing alone in front of the sorceress.

“I see you finally crawled out of whatever hole you were in,” Merlin said coldly.

“I see your lying and scheming finally paid off. How are you enjoying they benefits reaped from the death of my sister?” Morgause asked, watching the knights for a rejection of Merlin.

“They already know everything of what I have done to protect Camelot. And don’t think for one moment that I don’t regret everything that happened to Morgana. But you can’t try and put the blame for her fate on me. You lead her down that path and she made her decision to follow you. I tried to talk her down but when she didn’t listen I ended a threat. She was no longer Morgana, not the Morgana I was friends with anyway. She made her choices and got her comeuppance.”

Morgause’s composed exterior cracked and she snarled, “don’t you DARE speak of her in that manner. You and the rest of your precious knights are going to pay for what you did to her. Let’s see how well Camelot gets on without it’s loyal protector.”

“NO! You leave him alone!” Gwaine yelled struggling against the magic holding him.

She laughed, “how sweet. And pathetic,” she said disgustedly, she flicked her wrist and Gwaine jerked oddly and went limp. A strangled scream tore from Merlin, his magic flared but died without doing any damage, with a twinge of panic he felt his magic receding inside him like the tide but couldn’t focus all he could see was Gwaine’s limp body on the ground. He went to run to his side but Morgause closed her fist locking Merlin’s legs in place, she laughed at him and disappeared taking Merlin with her, leaving no trace behind.

As soon as they disappear the hold on the Knights disappeared, they went to Gwaine to check for a pulse, but didn’t have the chance before he sat bolt upright looking around with growing panic, “Merlin? Where's Merlin?” He asked scrambling to his feet.

Arthur put a sturdying hand on the knight’s shoulder, “I- I’m sorry Gwaine, after she knocked you out she took Merlin with her when she disappeared, I don’t know how she managed it since I’m sure Merlin was stronger then her. She must’ve done something to negate his magic,” Arthur said sadly.

“Is,” Gwaine corrected quietly.

“What?”

“You said he was stronger then her, you mean is. He is stronger than Morgause.” Gwaine’s voice cracked and he looked down.

“Of course. Yes that’s what I meant. He’ll be fine Gwaine, we’ll find him. We all want him back but we need to go back to Camelot and regroup. We can look around here for any indication of where they may have gone but they just vanished so I think we may need to bring someone else in on this to try tracking Merlin with magic,” Arthur said calmly, glancing at the other Knights to see if they had any explanation for Gwaine’s level of upset over the situation.

Gwaine shrugged off Arthur’s hand and walked a little ways away to where Merlin had last been standing, staring at the leaf strewn ground as Merlin might just materialize from it, his knees gave out and he dropped to the ground his head bowed as he tried to contain himself. 

Realization and understanding flashed across Lancelot’s face and he murmured something to Leon before walking over and kneeling next to Gwaine, he place a gentle hand on his back. Gwaine’s shoulders shook with silent sobs that he had been fighting, he slumped against Lancelot who just knelt there quietly.

Arthur watched on in confusion before turning to Leon, “what did Lancelot say to you?” He asked quietly as to not disturb Gwaine. Leon sighed glancing pityingly in the direction of the kneeling men before motioning from Arthur walk away a distance to talk. Arthur complied not asking more until they were farther away, “so?” He asked frowning the pieces still not coming together for him.

“Gwaine and Merlin have always been closer with each other but for the past month or so have you really not noticed the changes in their behaviour?” Leon asked.

“I… well no not really… what changes?”

“No I suppose you wouldn’t have. You’ve been busy of course. Just small changes ever since Gwaine was injured in training that day. Longer glances at each other, small smiles when they look away, blushing, especially on Merlin’s part, lingering touches when they think no one’s looking. Just things like that,” Leon said, “and they both have been in far better moods lately, and then today you saw how they both reacted to the other being in danger. How Merlin reacted when it looked like Morgause killed Gwaine….”

“You think they’re sleeping together?” Arthur asked.

“I think it’s more then just them sleeping together. Whether they know it or not I think they’re in love with each other. Which more than explains Gwaine’s current reaction.”

Arthur nodded glancing back the way they had come from to where Gwaine still knelt while being comforted by Lancelot, “how long have you and Lancelot known?”

“For sure? Not until just now but I’ve suspected from the start, and because it changes the dynamic of the group, priorities in battle and such, I asked Lancelot if he knew anything but he didn’t but he had also suspected something. So all he said to me just now was that it was what we figured.”

Arthur sighed, rubbing his face and walked back into the clearing and quietly started giving orders to Perceval, Leon and Elyan to begin searching the immediate area for any sign of which direction Morgause may have gone but not to disturb Gwaine and Lancelot. They nodded their understanding and went about their duties, none daring to speculate on the likelihood that they would find Merlin alive, if at all.

~~~

Days turned into weeks, weeks into months, and months stretched towards a year no sign or word of Merlin’s whereabouts, not even the slightest whisper in any circle. Only the occasional whisper of Morgause being on the move constantly and nameless new fear controlled her armies in her absence. 

Gwaine had thrown himself into training harder, but never gave up searching for his lost sorcerer, only staying sane despite his hope fading by reminding himself that Merlin would want him to keep on living and protecting Camelot in his stead. He made one of Merlin’s neckerchiefs into a braided bracelet that he wore at all times to have a part of Merlin with him at all times to remind him of why he kept moving and working. 

“Sir Gwaine, you’re needed in the council chambers,” a servant said approaching Gwaine with caution as he didn’t like to be disturbed while training. 

Gwaine turned lowering his sword, “thank you,” he said nodding to dismiss the servant.

“Erm… King Arthur said to tell you it was of immense importance and to be there immediately,” he said nervously.

Gwaine sighed and nodded again sheathing his sword, walking off the training field and went to the castle. He walked into the council chambers where almost everyone was already assembled, Leon walked in moments later and they took their seats, one seat still waited empty for someone they knew wouldn’t be joining them.

Arthur stood from his seat looking stressed, “we received word this morning from our scouts that armies are massing in the land Morgause claimed, however our other sources say she is still traveling meaning this unknown power is raising the army, however they still march under Morgause’s name meaning she is working with this person. It seems likely that they will be making their way to Camelot, we believe there is a good chance they’ll be here by next week. We need to begin preparing for battle. We need to begin preparing for whatever this new threat brings as well. We know nothing of who this person is what power they may possess and we don’t know what Morgause is up to with her travels. We’re very blind I this matter but we’re strong and we have time to plan. I want to get any magic welder willing to fight or heal or whatever they can do, here and integrate them into our ranks,” Arthur said.

They began discussing the plans for protecting innocent people and all that, Gwaine only barely paying attention. Eventually the meeting finished and everyone but the Knights left. 

Gwaine looked up at them, “I… I’m sure you’ve all thought of this already, but this can’t be a coincidence that Morgause has chosen now to attack… it means she must have more information about Camelot then she did before. I’m sure we all know where she would've gotten this information… if he’s still alive what happens to him?” He asked mostly looking at Arthur.

“If he’s alive and we can find him we bring him home. I doubt he told her anything of his own freewill so he didn’t commit treason… we’ll get him back and help him get better from whatever has happened to him,” Arthur answered gently.

Gwaine nodded slowly, “ok…. Ok good,” he said taking a deep breath, “well I suppose I know what my job is. Ill go get started on my assignment.” He stood and headed for the door just as it burst open and a messenger ran in panting, “your majesty. I brought news from your scouts, the army has already began to move. And move fast. They think they’ll reach the border three days from now and the city by the next.”

Arthur dismissed the boy to get some water and rest, Arthur put his head in his hands taking a deep breath gathering his thoughts, “get the word out that everything must be finished in that time. And tell them we’ll need to rethink our original plan for the battle, if they have inside information from Merlin, they likely know what our go to strategies are,” he said standing up pulling himself up tall. The Knights bowed and left to go about their duties.

~~~

Their four days were up, the city was as well defended as it could be, magic welders and soldiers stood side by side prepared to protect their home with their lives. Gwaine and the rest of the knights stood on the battlements to get a good look at what was coming. They heard the stories of people who had seen the approaching army. They said this unnamed horror fought on the front lines along side the men. Commanding them but they never harmed innocents unless they tried to impede their progress.

“The latest report says Morgause still hasn’t shown her face, but this new person fights with magic like nothing has ever seen, they march with their soldiers, the only way you can spot them in they wear full armour, that’s as black as night and never removes their helmet, so no one knows what they look like…” Leon said watching the approaching mass.

“I don’t like this. It doesn’t seem like Morgause’s style. Hiding somewhere else letting some random person lead the attack… there must be another angle that we aren’t seeing,” Gwaine said, “but I’m always down for a fight. Might as well get down there,” he said with a crooked grin before walking off not saying goodbye since that felt like bad luck.

He was mid way to the front lines, completely alone, “well you are right. It’s not my style to just let things play out in my name without a direct involvement,” Morgause said from behind him.

He spun around, “you,” he snarled but she wasn’t there.

She laughed from behind him again before things went dark and Gwaine woke up again standing on a rooftop looking down at the lines of the approaching army but still see Camelot’s army as well, the perfect vantage point, “ah good you’re awake. I was wondering if I had hit you too hard,” Morgause said standing near the edge of the roof watching everything. Gwaine considered shoving her off the roof, “i wouldn’t try. It would end very poorly for you,” she said as if hearing his thoughts.

“Why did you bring me up here?” He asked watching with growing dread as the invading army attacked, with a thunderous snap of magic originating somewhere from the front lines and the front gate broke up and he heard a voice command the army to move forward and the lines surged forward behind a single figure.

“I brought you up because I couldn’t have you down there interrupting my plans. Honestly I can’t believe you don’t recognize who’s leading the army,” she said grinning wickedly.

Dread pooled in Gwaine’s stomach, “no it can’t be him. He would never,” he said quietly.

“Well… not without some encouraging he wouldn’t. But I simply… helped him remember what happened that day in the forest. Although, perhaps I embellished a little of what transpired….”

“What did you tell him?”

“Well I mean I broke him first. Months of torment will do that to a person. Eventually I just used magic to… guide his memory to suit my purposes. He saw what he thought was you dying and I let him continue thinking that but I just changed the manner in which you died. He thinks that you accompanied him to negotiate with me on a peace treaty but Arthur caught wind of you and him sneaking off for a secret meeting with an enemy and got the wrong idea. Arthur and the other knights rushed in to try and put an end to myself and Merlin you stepped in to protect Merlin and Arthur killed you. It was quite tragic really,” she said with a small smile, “so he agreed to tell me what I wanted to know about Camelot’s defences, but on one condition. He got to kill the King himself, in retribution for the death of his dear lover. I agreed and told him to gain strength and he would lead my armies while I cleared any blocks that might cause too much of a problem. Once the King is dead, I let Merlin realize what he did and that problem will sort itself so I can have a clear path to the throne,” Morgause said smirking at his expression.

“Arthur…” Gwaine started looking around frantically for a way down.

“Why do you want to protect him he killed you?” she laughed, watching the ongoing battle. Merlin was welding his powers effectively and brutally, as he was clearing himself a path towards the castle to get to Arthur. “mm this should be fun to watch.” He turned to see what she was talking about and saw Elyan facing down Merlin, with no clue who it was he was looking at. His blade flashed in the light as he swung it towards Merlin, Gwaine sucked in a breath wanting to look away but couldn’t, the blade stopped in the air then Elyan went flying backwards. Morgause frowned looking a little disappointed but they continued to follow Merlin’s progress, Gwaine both hoping for Merlin to be stopped before he reached Arthur but also dreading how he would be stopped.

——

Arthur was fighting in the thick of things trying to make his way to the leader. Hoping if he took him out it would disorganize the soldiers long enough for Camelot to beat them. He saw the top of the helmet first over the shoulder of his current opponent. He quickly put an end to that fight in time for the knight in black to see him and head his way. The people fighting around them seemed to part as the knight approached the king so his path was unhindered. The knight unsheathed his blade rather then use magic, “you are going to pay with your life for, Arthur Pendragon, for the crime you committed,” the knight said his voice strangely familiar to Arthur but it was muffled enough from the helmet that obscured his entire face that Arthur couldn’t place it. The knight lunged and they traded blow after blow, well matched to each other in skill, and strength. They kept pace with each with ease barely landing any hits on the other.

——

Gwaine watched in horror as Merlin and Arthur circled each other trying to find weaknesses to extort. Morgause was just as engrossed in the fight in the square below as Gwaine was, that she never noticed Lancelot coming up behind her and running her through with his sword, she gasped and fell off the roof when he pulled the blade free. Gwaine turned and looked at the other knight, “good timing,” he said his voice tinged with panic.

Lancelot approached the edge and looked to see what Gwaine had looking at and saw Arthur engaged in single combat with the mysterious knight, “we’d better get down there and give Arthur some back up,” Lancelot said but gasped in horror and Arthur landed a blow that knocked the helmet off of the knight revealing a snarling Merlin.

“I have to get down there now. He thinks Arthur killed me,” Gwaine said headed to find his way down to hopefully save both Merlin and Arthur.

——

“Merlin?” Arthur asked losing his focus and didn’t press his momentary advantage.

“Hello, Sire,” Merlin spat, using Arthur’s distraction and sprang forward plunging his sword forward. Arthur gathered his thoughts just in time to block the blow that would’ve proven fatal had it landed.

“Merlin, what are you doing? Why are you working for Morgause? Whatever spell she has you under you can fight it, you can still come home,” he said only blocking Merlin’s strikes not trying to land any of his own. 

Merlin kicked out and knocked Arthur’s legs from under him, sending him sprawling, his sword skittering away across the cobblestones. He levelled his blade at Arthur’s throat, “This is going to bring me great pleasure. Finally ending the blight upon this land that is the Pendragon blood line,” he said readying to thrust the sword forward but it was knocked from his hand and went skittering away the opposite direction of Arthur’s.

Merlin whirled to face whoever was attacking him but came face to face with Gwaine, who grabbed his arms just above the elbows gently but firmly, “Merlin… It’s really you…” he said in wonder since he had been slightly sceptical still even when the helmet had come off.

Merlin searched Gwaine’s face his mouth slightly parted, “but you… you died. I saw the sword rip through you. You died in front of me,” Merlin said tears in his eyes, wondering if he had right a truly lost it now, so busy studying Gwaine’s face that he didn’t notice Lancelot helping Arthur to safety. 

“No. No. I didn’t die. It’s me. Really and truly me. And I promise to explain everything to you but I need you to call off the army so no more blood is spilt tonight,” Gwaine said, gently rubbing Merlin’s arm with one hand but still gripping him with the other.

“I….Of course,” he said still staring at Gwaine he sent out two pulses of his power in quick succession and the fighting ended immediately, the soldiers withdrew from the city quickly.

“You trust me correct?” Gwaine asked softly.

Merlin nodded unsure of where this was going but didn’t care since Gwaine was alive and standing in front of him.

“Morgause ambushed us in the forest almost a year ago. She wanted pay back because of Morgana’s death. She made it look like she killed me but only knocked me out. She took you hostage and we’ve been looking for you ever since. I know she hurt you Merlin and she messed around in your mind, but you know Arthur he wouldn’t have killed me. This was all a mind game she was playing with you. But you’re safe now. You’re home. You can come back to us… to me,” Gwaine said gently.

Merlin whimpered and wrapped his arms around Gwaine the proper memories came flooding back to him and he deflated a little clinging to Gwaine as if he were a life line. 

Gwaine rested his chin on Merlin’s shoulder holding him close, relieved to have Merlin in his arms again. The relief didn’t last long as Morgause emerged from the smoke into the square, livid that her hold on Merlin was broken and that she had been stabbed. 

Merlin tensed the second he realized she was there and pulled away from Gwaine and turned to face Morgause, “You bitch,” he snarled and without let her say another word he called a ton of lightening to strike her dead where she stood.

Gwaine stared at Merlin shocked but no fear, as his eyes turned blue again Gwaine pulled him into a bone crushing hug, before pulling back only far enough to claim Merlin’s mouth with his own. Merlin gasped in shock but relaxed against him and kissed him back furiously like they could make up for the year they spent apart in one kiss. 

They broke apart panting hard and just stared at each other for a minute before a look of terror crossed Merlin’s face, “Gwaine… what did I do? I… she definitely had some kind of hold on my mind. Everything I’ve done is fuzzy. I… Is Arthur alive? I didn’t…. I didn’t kill him did I?” He asked.

“I’m fine Merlin,” Arthur said approaching now that Merlin didn’t seem like he was going to try and stab him again, “and it doesn’t matter what else you did because it wasn’t really you. Like you said she had a hold on your mind. But it’s gone now and you’re home.”

Merlin relaxed and leaned against Gwaine heavily like all his strength went out of him, “come on. Lets get you inside so you can rest,” Gwaine said gently and supported Merlin as they walked to the castle, Arthur staying behind to deal with the aftermath of the attack. He ended up having to carry Merlin the rest of the way to where Gaius was treating the wounded. “Gaius! Over here,” Gwaine called setting Merlin down gently on a table and began removing the armour quickly to make it easier for Gaius to examine him. 

Gaius hurried over, “who- Merlin?”

Merlin opened his eyes a crack and smiled slightly, “hi Gaius,” he said weakly.

Gaius began checking him over looking for injuries and found many, “Gwaine. Go fetch me some fresh water,” Gaius instructed, seeing the ill look on his face from the mess of new scars and improperly healed injuries.

Gwaine squeezed Merlin’s hand gently and walked out to get the water. He stood outside at the well knowing Gaius didn't really need to water in any kind of hurry. He breathed deep the cool night air filled with the smells of battle but it was silent, cool and calming. 

“How is he?” Lancelot asked gently, approaching quietly.

“He’s alive. Gaius is looking at him now. But he’s.. he’s been hurt badly. I don’t think he had much medical attention though, since some injuries haven’t healed properly. Gaius sent me out here to “get water” but I’m pretty sure it was just to get me out of the infirmary, which really I’m grateful but I feel like I should be with Merlin. I just can’t see him like this right now.”

“That’s understandable. I can go sit with him while you do what you need to do.”

Gwaine shook his head, “no it should be me. He was unconscious and I should be the one there when he wakes up, or he might freak out again… he might not but I don’t want to risk it. Since we don’t know what was done to him.”

Lancelot nodded and watched Gwaine carry a bucket of water back into the castle. 

~~~

For two days Gwaine paced or sat by Merlin’s bed while he healed and recovered, asleep to recover his energy after the display of magic he’d used to destroy Morgause. 

Merlin groaned as he sat up midway through Gwaine pacing in the evening on the second day, “Gwaine? Quit pacing would you? You’re tiring me out watching you,” he said smiling softly.

“Merlin!” Gwaine said grinning, “how are you feeling?” 

“Could be better,” he said wincing a little but held his hand out, Gwaine smiled and took it gently. Merlin pulled him down onto the bed and kissed him gently before curling beside Gwaine, laying his head on his chest, “hm there far better already.” He said then looked around frowning a little, “where are we?” He asked.

“Your chambers. Since you were promoted before you were taken you were supposed to get proper chambers in the castle and these are them,” Gwaine answered gently, thought you would want to see them.”

“They’re lovely, but why are they still mine? I was gone for nearly a year, I could’ve been dead for all you guys knew, I thought Arthur would’ve hired someone new…”

Gwaine shook his head, “none of us gave up on you, he wouldn’t hire anyone new until we had proof that you were truly gone. So you’re job is still yours if you want it. You’re home and safe now Merlin, I don’t ever plan on letting you go again.”

Merlin smiled, “good. I don’t plan on going anywhere,” he said softly.

“Did you want to talk about anything that happened?” Gwaine asked gently.

“I want you to know what happened to me but not… not right now. I just want to spend time with you first.”

Gwaine nodded, “well whenever you choose I’ll listen.” He pressed a gentle kiss to Merlin’s temple. 

Merlin looked up at him, “you waited for me… why?”

“Because I knew you weren’t dead and I couldn’t stand the thought of moving on.”

Merlin nodded slowly, “What did you do the past year?”

“I trained and worked, just kept myself busy…. There were times that I couldn’t handle the thought of going on without you but I knew you would be so disappointed in me had I just given up or left so I kept going. I did what I could to protect Camelot while you were gone and just reminded myself to push on even when I didn’t want to get out of my bed. I though if you could survive everything you had gone through and still be strong enough to continue on then I could too.”

Merlin smiled sadly, “I’m glad you were able to keep going. I would have hated for you to give up. I love you Gwaine.” 

“I love you too Merlin. Rest, you’re still healing. You used a lot of your energy, I’ll be here when you wake up,” he said softly. 

Merlin smiled softly and closed his eyes, listening to the steady rhythm of Gwaine’s heart beating in his chest, knowing they were both safe and could face whatever came their way as long as they had faith in each other.


End file.
